Monday, April 30, 2012

The day you were born

Owen William Derrevere,

The night you were born was April 18th, 2012 at 11:36pm weighing a healthy 8lbs 7 oz and measuring 20" long. That morning I woke up at 5:00am because my blood sugar was low. I did my usual routine trying not to wake up your dad and ran out to the fridge for something sugary to drink. While standing at the door my water broke much to my surprise and I had absolutely no idea what to do. Your daddy and I drove to the hospital. I was there nearly all day in labor. I was very nervous but mainly because I wanted to make sure you would be okay. Finally close to midnight after pushing and pushing my doctor and I decided that you were not in the right position and possibly too big for a normal delivery, so we had to cut you out of my belly...I know, gross! You were born at 11:36pm at 36 weeks and 6 days. You just didn't want to officially be term and you didn't want to be born during regular business hours! But your daddy and I were so so happy! This was the beginning of our fight!

Dr. Rao was the baby doctor on call that night and was right there every step of the way after you blessed us with your presence. He came to give us an update which was very hard for us to hear. He let us know that what we had suspected before was a small hernia was much more serious. He said your liver was taking up a lot of the space where your lungs should have been and that they would not be able to simply use a ventilator to help you breath. I was absolutely devastated. This news was completely shocking to us! We at that time knew that we would have a very large fight ahead of us. The doctors had decided it was safest for you to go on a bypass machine called ECMO that puts oxygen into your blood without having to use your lungs. This is very complicated and comes with a lot of risk but it was to only option to keep you alive.

Dr. Camps was the pediatric surgeon on that night and put the tubes in that would take the blood from your heart and bypass your lungs. It was successful and they worked all night long to improve the oxygenation of your blood. You were very very sick! Your dad and I had a very hard time with all that was going on. It was very emotional knowing that this was the best day of our lives to get to meet you but we couldn't because you were so fragile and sick.

The next day I got to see your beautiful face! You had the most attention on you out of all of the babies in the NICU. You had every machine available around your bedside and underneath it all was this miracle called Owen! So beautiful and handsome with light red hair. Beautiful skin, perfect fingers and toes. Little bitty hands and little bitty feet, and oh, so long! 20". I couldn't believe I was lugging you around for 8 months! No wonder I had so much back pain!

I stayed in the hospital 4 days so I could recover from my surgery and be close to you. I was in a lot of pain but your dad wheeled me up to the NICU to see you. I immediately started pumping so that when you would finally come home I would have plenty of milk. You just look like you are going to be a big eater :) We had a lot of visitors and a lot of people who really care about our family. Your aunt Hailey took care of your mom and arranged for people to come by and visit. Your uncle Spencer also brought snacks and visited with your dad. Both sets of grandparents the May's and the Derrevere's came all the way from Oklahoma to meet you and support your parents.

During the first 2 weeks of your life which is where we are now we have been in the fight of our lives. You are beautiful, strong and brave! We have had our ups and downs on ECMO and the ventilator. You started to get very puffy from all of the medicines and blood products you were requiring. But its the little things that you give me everyday that keep us going. You have done an amazing job peeing trying to get rid of all of the extra fluid and you have done a great job keeping up your blood pressure. We are just waiting to see if we can increase your vent settings to expand your lungs and hopefully wean the ECMO to get you ready for surgery. We need a miracle. But we keep telling each other that our love for each other will get us home together, for me to hold you and never put you down. I will never leave your side. I can't wait to feed you, change your diaper and rock you to sleep. We have been reading to you and really appreciate all of the books everyone has brought us. Everyday I walk in to visit you I have the biggest smile on my face and you bring me so much happiness. Every minute I spend with you is amazing. I give you a lot of kisses and love on you the entire time I am at your bedside. You are my Owen bear!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you!
- Mom