First of all....Happy 3 month Birthday sweetheart! Its been amazing to see you be brave and strong and get past all of these milestones that will ultimately end with us happy and at home with you! Don't worry we will continue to fight for you and be by your side not only now but throughout your life. It is truly amazing that we have made it to where you are now but I never lose hope baby bear. Never!
It was sort of a rough weekend for us. We had a bump in the road with you requiring a little more help breathing. For some reason you started requiring more oxygen and we had to go up on your CPAP settings after a wonderful week last week of minimal support. It is hard for your mommy to see you do so well and then have to suffer through these set backs. We sometimes forget that you are so fragile and I think that we were trying to move forward way too fast by getting rid of your Lasix, steroids, nitric and going down on your CPAP settings last week which was only one week since you had been extubated. So now we are back up on CPAP and nitric and we have started back on Lasix and another medicine to help you get rid of all of your extra fluid. You really started to swell up around your face and chest again which I know can't be easy to breath with that extra weight. Just ask your dad, I was soooo worried and had to talk to Dr. Rao several times to make sure we were doing everything we can to keep you off the vent.
And you continue to amaze us and fight hard! You have not needed to be reintubated with your breathing tube. Your x-rays look good and your blood gases are getting better. Your nurse last night Jennifer said you didn't require as much oxygen which is good for your lungs and means that you are not continuing to deteriorate. The blood pressure in your pulmonary arteries just went sky high during this episode and you just had no reserve to recover. But I will take the small victories any day! Keep it up brave Owen bear! And I will continue to be strong for you.
What gets me through these times is your strength, your blue eyes and soft red hair, you following your daddy's voice when he reads to you, when you lock your eyes on me and look so happy in my arms and that I imagine the day when I get to walk through those doors of the NICU with MY Owen a happy mommy and when I imagine you running around the house happy and playful and that I know this test of my strength and emotions and love for you will all be rewarded with YOU!
I LOVE YOU!... you brave little 3 month old angel
-Mom
